Dirty Deeds Done Real Cheap
by PrincessInTheRain
Summary: Collab piece - details inside. Set in a world where supernatural beings exist. Sebastian Smythe and Jesse St. James are hunters, living to kick some supernatural butt. What happens when trouble hits a little too close to home in form of Kurt Hummel?


**AN:  
>In a world where supernatural beings really do exist, can you really trust your friends? Sebastian Smythe and Jesse St. James are hunters, living to kick some supernatural butt. What happens when trouble hits a little too close to home in form of Kurt Hummel? <strong>

This is a collaborated piece written by the lovely Phoebe ( www. fanfiction. net/u/950170/Phoebe_Laura_Halliwell (C'mon guys, you know how this works, just remove the spaces) and me.

There are times in life where things seem to slow down. A second feels like a minute. The world stops around you and breathing escapes your mind. All you can think about is the thing you just did and how it would alter things forever. This was that moment for Sebastian Smythe. It all happened so fast. He held the cup in his hand and aimed for Kurt. He could determine it there and then. The power lay in his hands, in form of the red content with rock salt in it. If his suspicions were right, it would hurt Kurt more than it would do a human.

Ever since he met Kurt, he knew that something was off. But that is a story he would have to save for another time. With his background, Sebastian had dealt with a few cases of demon possession before, and immediately took interest in the boy. Of course, it only helped that Kurt was in fact gay and good looking.

First he tried a more subtle solution. He invited Kurt and his boyfriend, Blaine to the local gay bar. He made sure that he was there before them and ordered drinks for them both and slipped a little holy water in the glasses. However neither Kurt nor Blaine reacted in any way. He had heard of cases where demons were immune to holy water, that's true. But there was one thing that never failed – rock salt. The slushie would have hurt Kurt and even driven the demon out of him, and Sebastian could have just passed it off as a vicious attempt to crush one of his show choir opponents without exposing himself. But the unexpected happened. Blaine dived in front of Kurt, taking the slushie himself.

Suddenly Blaine was on the floor and Sebastian stood there with the cup in his hand. Before he knew it, he was running away with the other Warblers. Because it was the right thing to do, follow his crowd. He was _so_ close to taking Kurt Hummel down, and he had blown it. Because of one love sick boy.

Sebastian stepped into the main building of McKinley High School, eyeing it with distaste. He couldn't possibly imagine why anyone would want to attend this school, with the yellow walls, obnoxiously loud corridors and the pathetic excuse they called teachers. His car stood out in the parking lot like a shining diamond compared to the bricks of charcoals that were the other students' cars. He had always had an affection towards classy cars, explaining the red Porsche he drove. It was all about class, money and speed.

He didn't even know why he was here. He and the other Warblers got a text, asking – no, demanding – them to be there. He had better things to do than drive all the way to a public school to see whatever that joke of a Glee club had put together for them. Maybe they wanted revenge. If any one of them spilled just a drop of slushie on his blazer, he would sue them for everything they got.

The New Directions started their performance and Sebastian zoned out. They were doing another Micheal Jackson song, how original. It was a song about compassion and understanding. About how it doesn't matter if you were black or white. Sebastian couldn't care less. He thought about who he could call to help him out with the little problem he had on his hands. Kurt knew he was a hunter and Sebastian had to find out whether he was a threat. And most importantly, he had to find out what Kurt was. He couldn't be a demon as he had gone through Kurt's old year books. The boy certainly aged. So maybe he was something else. The most plausible explanation was that he was possessed by something supernatural, and Sebastian could need some help.

Calling his parents was out of the question, they were in Canada hunting a creature. He took out a small black book and went through his contacts. He stopped at a name and a small smile tugged at his lips. He hadn't talked to this guy in ages, maybe it was time he said hi. He looked through the rest of the small book. No, the guy would be perfect for this. Especially since he had first hand experience with the people involved. He typed the number in his phone and saved it as a contact. Jesse St. James.

When the performance ended, Sebastian noticed that all the other Warblers were on the stage alongside with the New Directions, and he felt obliged to clap, though his heart wasn't in it. They were so frustrating, always talking about what was right and wrong. He didn't care about moral - he just wanted to win. Maybe it was being in the trade that made him like this. When banishing spirits to the pits of hell became a hobby and eventually a life style, it tends to change your perspective of life. But right now he wanted to get through high school with a nationals trophy and find a solution for the Kurt problem. To be entirely honest, he didn't know how a person could sing so high-pitched and ear-piercingly without being possessed by a demon.

Therefore it was even more aggravating to see the Warblers, his own, turn against him. This was exactly what he needed, for the Warblers to become best friends with the New Directions, or the Nude Erections, as he preferred to call them. Said Glee club was now threatening to send him to jail. Wow. Nevertheless, he was just glad to get out of there and call Jesse. Sebastian pocketed the small tape and made a mental note to destroy it later. He got out of the school as fast as he could, ignoring all the moony eyes the girls sent him, or rather his neat uniform, and got into his shiny red Porsche.

With the fingers on his left hand drumming on the steering wheel impatiently, Sebastian dialled a number.

"Hey Jess..."

It was a fairly normal job. Normal for a hunter, that is. Just a ghost of a little girl, who died, and stuck around her dad. Sounds innocent right? Wrong. As she pretty much killed everyone who even looked at her dad in a bad way. She even impaled Jesse's hand with a fork when he tried to talk sense to her father's head.

Even though Jesse was very charismatic, it took a lot of effort to convince the still-grieving father to let go of his daughter, as she was a threat to everyone. Although helping to bandage up Jesse's hand might have helped him making the tough decision.

He was alone, though. The guy wanted to come with him, but Jesse talked him out of it. This is not a sight for anyone, who's not used to these things. Jesse himself helped his dad to dig out a corpse at the age of six. That's the kind of life he lived.

The girl was only dead for a few years, so yes, the smell was pretty horrible. There are things, which you just can't get used to - this awful smell being one of them. He stood in front of the hole, and the now-open coffin, and sighed. Time to finish what he came here for.

First, the salt. Good ol' rock salt. Perfect against ghosts, demons, and really, against a lot of nasty things. Simple salt. Then comes the gasoline, so it would surely burn.

"Requiescat in peace, little girl. This time for real." Jesse said, lighting the match, and throwing it to the pit, watching as the flames engulfed her body. He wasn't religious, or anything, he always thought of it as unnecessary. But... it was kind of a habit for Jesse. He picked it up after playing a video game, and thought the line was catchy, and fitting for his job. Especially for these kind of jobs.

Jesse ran his bandaged hand through his curly hair, and closed his eyes. All though the air was quite chilly, the heat of the fire, and the previous digging work kept him from being cold. He kind of liked his job. True, he didn't really made money out of it, but he liked to travel across the country, and to kick some supernatural asses. This was the way he lived since graduating from Carmel. Sure, singing was fun, but...

At this moment, his phone rang. Jesse opened his eyes, and reached for his pocket, glancing at the caller he couldn't help but to smile a little bit. It's been quite a while since they last spoke, though. What could have prompted him to call now?

Nevertheless, he picked up the phone.

"Hi there, Sebastian."

Sebastian couldn't help but smile upon hearing the voice in the other end. Self-confident and cocky as usual.

"So.. How have you been doing?", Sebastian asked casually. His fingers had stopped drumming the steering wheel.

"Oh, you know, the usual things. Getting stabbed by an angry ghost, and now burning her corpse. Nothing new. What about you?" Jesse replied equally casually, like there was nothing unusual with this lifestyle. And for him, there really wasn't.

Sebastian chuckled at the reply.

"I'm in Lima, Ohio at the moment, actually. Living a life of glitter and glam in the finest city in the states", he rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping of his voice.

Jesse couldn't help but to snort a little. Yeah, the mention of that place made him react like this. "Oh, that's one fabulous place. Especially if one attends McKinley High." Jesse rolled his eyes as well, all though he did not see Sebastian doing the same though. That month which Jesse spent there, as a student of that school, well, it was like hell. Worse than running from an enraged poltergeist, if you ask for Jesse's opinion on the matter.

"Funny you should mention McKinley, I'm in the parking lot right now", Sebastian smirked. He had missed Jesse's sense of humour, even though it had been a while since he last saw the boy. "Which I luckily am leaving this very second.. I'll take an enraged spirit over public schools any day", he murmured and started the car. He had no intentions of sticking around the school for longer than necessary.

"One simply cannot forget McKinley easily once he set his foot inside. No matter how hard you try." Jesse wrinkled his nose. He really hated that school. "Carmel wasn't that bad, really." He shrugged a little. "Why were you there, though?" He asked, curiously. He couldn't imagine Sebastian around a public school, and as far as he know, he had already graduated.

Hearing this, Sebastian suddenly remembered that he had lied to Jesse about his age for as long as he could remember. He was two years younger than him, but pretended to be older to get the boy's attention. Oh well, looked like that was going to go down the drain now. "I had to come and see the rival Glee club make a fool out of themselves", he said casually, as though it was a given that he was still in high school. Jesse probably wouldn't even notice, he thought smugly.

Jesse laughed out hearing it. "Oh, you lying bitch." He said in an amused tone - right now he couldn't even be mad at Sebastian. That was all he said about the age matter, and he thought about the glee clubs. "So, New Directions is still together, huh? Are they rehearsing at least, or they still want to win Nationals with the power of friendship?" He asked, in a sarcastic tone. "Are you attending Carmel, or what?"

Sebastian smirked, even though Jesse couldn't see it. Yes, he had lied, but lying to Jesse _did_ get him places, after all. "I don't remember you calling me a bitch the last time you saw me, Jess", he laughed. Jesse would know what he was talking about, he didn't have to elaborate. "They actually think they have a chance of winning Nationals. It's hilarious", he snickered. "No, of course not. I go to Dalton. A guy like me needs a prestigious school like that"

"You_ lied _to get into my pants, Smythe." Jesse said, still in an amused tone. "I'm so gonna kill you when I see you again." Yes, it was obvious from his tone that he didn't mean it, but he still said it. "Dalton. Nice, fancy school. You must look hot in that uniform, though." He said, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his free hand. Yeah, that fire in front of him was hot as well. "Why did you call me? I doubt it's because you wanted to complain about Schuester's gang."

"Sure, sure. You can tie me up and have your way with me the next time you see me", Sebastian replied nonchalantly. He was however surprised when Jesse mentioned the uniform. Living in Ohio had almost erased his memory of what determined guys were like. "You wouldn't know how hot it is on me before you get your pretty ass here, would you? And that leads me to why I call. I need you to come back here", he said in a light tone while driving towards Dalton.

"You know what? I might do that." Jesse replied. Yes, he certainly had no problem with being like this, and he sure knew Sebastian didn't mind it either. He then just frowned a little, hearing that the other boy needed Jesse to go back to Lima. "Why? Is it just because you are afraid that your Warblers would lose against Rachel Berry and the background singers, or there's something else?"

"Please", Sebastian scoffed. "As though Miss I-desperately-need-a-nose-job would even pose a threat against my talented boys", he said in an amused voice. They wouldn't have any problems winning Regionals this year. "No, I'm sure you are familiar with a certain Kurt Hummel?", Sebastian asked seriously, implying that this was about business and not just a singing competition.

"Don't underestimate her, though, she has a good voice. Altough it's a shame she had given up on her ambitions... is she still with the T-Rex?" Jesse asked nonchalantly. He did like Rachel back then, a lot. And he was much better than Finn Hudson, hands down. But the conversation was clearly not about them... "Kurt? Yes. He has a good voice, and a freakish talent to sing high tones like a diva, but last time I saw him he still had a lot to learn. What's about him?" He asked, changing his tone as well at the question. If Sebastian was interested in Kurt, and not just because the boy looked good, or because his voice, it definitely meant something.

Sebastian wondered why Jesse was so interested in the Berry-girl. She could sing, he had to admit that, but she was also so obnoxious that he couldn't bear being in her presence. "I don't know, Jesse. I hardly care about her love life. Didn't you guys use to date or something?", he asked curiously. But he was calling to talk about Kurt Hummel, and not some aggravating girl. "I suspect that there is something wrong with him. Possession, most likely. But my hands are pretty tied."

"Yeah, we did. Years ago." Jesse replied simply. He loved Rachel Berry, the ambitious, strong girl. Not that someone, who kissed Finn onstage, throwing away the Nationals trophy. But it was long ago. He listened to Sebastian's explanation of the situation. "Why are your hands tied, though? If he's still a coffee addict, just slip a little holy water to his cup, or something."

Sebastian didn't really care about Rachel and went to the point. "That's the problem. I slipped holy water in his drink – alcohol free, I might add - and he didn't react. It's like he's resistant to it", he started to sound annoyed. "I tried to slushie him with rock salt, but his stupid, but cute boyfriend took the slushie for him. It's suspicious, almost as though Blaine knew it would hurt him".

Jesse listened to everything what Sebastian said. "So, let me get this straight. Blaine is Kurt's boyfriend, and you accidentally slushied him with rock salt." He exhaled. He got some slushie facials during his stay in McKinley as well - it wasn't a really nice experience, after being a star student in Carmel. Slushie itself is really unpleasant too, but with rock salt... "And what makes you think that there's something supernatural with him? Did you see his eyes flicker, or something?"

"Oh, you mean apart from the fact that Kurt is a possessive bitch?", Sebastian huffed, thinking about their encounters in the pathetic excuse they called a coffee shop. "His eyes darken every time I go near Blaine and his eyes turned black once", he said. It was when Sebastian went to McKinley to see the Nude Erections perform in sectionals. The way Blaine danced was unholy itself, but there was something really unholy about the look Kurt gave him when he realised that Sebastian was among the audience.

Jesse hummed, and took up the shovel from the ground with his free hand, as the fire slowly died out. "This does seem suspicious, and if he's immune to holy water, it must mean that he's definitely stronger." He went quiet a little, collecting his thoughts. "Why do you need me, though? ...oh." He said, realising something. "The rest of the New Directions now probably hate you, because of the slushie. Especially, if they found out about the salt, right? And you need me to investigate more. Am I correct?"

Sebastian stopped the car when he was back at Dalton, but didn't get out in fear of being overheard by others. "They don't hate me, they just.. don't know that I'm actually the coolest person they will ever meet", he smirked. "The Warblers turned against me and are best mates with Nude Erections, so I need someone they won't suspect". And this is why Jesse was the perfect choice. "If you come here, Rachel being the self-absorbed diva she is, would think that you want her back. It's the perfect diversion and no one will suspect a thing"

Jesse laughed a little. "Sebastian, as soon as I go back to town they'll be at my throat. But you are probably right. They'll think I want to get between their power couple, and no one would suspect that I'm there for Kurt." He tapped his fingers on the shovel. "Fine, I'm in. I finish this job, and I can be there by tomorrow afternoon. Where do we meet up? Lima Bean? Breadstix? Or somewhere else, where they are less likely to see us together? The rumour mill in Lima is awful, I'm telling you."

"Like you are not used to having people _down _your throat", Sebastian chuckled playfully. He didn't even know where that came from. He just missed teasing Jesse, he guessed. "Somewhere private is probably the best. We could meet up at Dalton, I have a single room here", he offered. "Unless you have someplace else we could use"

"Not as used to it as you, though." Jesse shot back, not backing off from some teasing. Definitely not from Sebastian. "Dalton, that is. I'll call my uncle that I'll be crash at his place because of a job, he surely won't mind. Sure, we could meet by his place, but if I want to be honest, I want to see Dalton, I didn't have the chance to see it with my own eyes."

"It's nice of you to admit that you have less experience than me", Sebastian was positively radiating from fun he was having by teasing the older man. "Dalton is marvellous. I'll give you the grand tour when you come over tomorrow", he replied, ready to hang up any second.

"Puh-please. It's just my experience varies between genders, unlike yours. Unless the situation changed since we last spoke." Jesse wasn't easily offended, not because of these matters. "I can't wait. See you tomorrow, then. Bye, Sebastian." He said, hanging up, and putting away the phone. The fire totally died out by this time, so the ghost finally went to the afterlife. It was time to bury the remains again. After, he had to go back to his motel, to have a shower, and sleep for a few hours, before hitting the road to Lima.

That night Sebastian slept well, knowing that he would soon have a solution to the Kurt problem. Even though Sebastian's family came from a line of hunters, being a high school student and trying to live a normal teenage life put a damper on his efficiency as a hunter. But with Jesse's help, he would be able to solve the case and 'restore peace to the world', as he liked to put it.

Kurt was very quiet as he walked up to Blaine's room. He should have felt happy. Rachel and him were both NYADA finalists. He was one step closer to acheiving his life long dream of living in a big city, but most importantly, the dream of doing what he loved the most. They made peace with the Warblers. They were rational beings after all, and it was easy to see how manipulative Sebastian had been with them. And now Sebastian didn't influence them anymore.

But Sebastian...

He sighed as he entered Blaine's room after a little knock. He smiled a little, as he saw his boyfriend sitting on the bed, reading a book.

"You know how weird is it to read with only one eye?"

Yes, it was definitely hard to stay unhappy next to Blaine. Even while he was half-blind, he still could find a reason to smile, and Kurt couldn't help to smile as well. But sadly, it couldn't stay this way. He needed to speak with Blaine, tell him everything they found out today, so he sat down to the bed next to Blaine with a sigh.

"We confronted Sebastian."

Blaine looked up, with interest in his eye. He didn't ask, just waited for Kurt to continue, so he did.

"The slushie was intended for me."

Blaine nodded slowly. It wasn't hard to guess.

"And he put rock salt in it."

At this point, Blaine froze, and his healthy eye widened, as though he didn't want to believe it.

"It... it can be a coincidence, Kurt, maybe, he just wanted something which is hard to detect, but still hurts... and it would have ruined your clothes, wouldn't it? Maybe...", Blaine tried to reason. It didn't have to mean what they thought it did. He had known Kurt's secret for a while now, but it didn't cease to amaze him how much there was to take into consideration.

Kurt closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I saw his eyes. He does look at me with suspicion. I think... he might be one of those hunters."

Blaine was quiet, very quiet, and then he just extended his hand, taking Kurt's hand into his.

"I won't let him hurt you, Kurt, even if he is."

Kurt didn't reply, just closed his eyes.


End file.
